Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Friday humour

Very good.

Merkel looks like a woman for once wonder if has put something in my coffee .

I love Tracey Ullman's take on Frau Merkel. But not as much as her Nicola Sturgeon, with the evil bond villain bunker under Edinburgh castle.

Yes she's got the pair of them taped alright.

Her Camilla parts have me laughing a bit too, especially when she puts the Range Rover down with the 12 bore..

Probably taken 20 years ago John ....

A woman is sitting in a very posh restaurant when she inadvertently lets go a loud fart.

The room falls silent.

Hoping to distract attention from herself she says to the waiter "Stop that will you?”

“Certainly” says the waiter “which way was it headed?”

Her Camilla parts? What sort of sketch is that then?
Post watershed viewing only?

The Perfect Man

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was really something special."

Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right."

Passenger: "Wow, what a guy!"

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong, and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger: "How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife."

Brilliant