Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Monday humour

Looks like he's drunk some of your water too

Yes he has. There maybe a leak in that perfect pond

The cat's just asked me if I'd like the radio leaving on while he goes out.. Cheeky git..

Has he got his umbrella?

The Goon Show did a good one on that From The Rent Collectors:

Crun:
Er, now, now, now [mutters], what next? Now um, [reads] Mister Patrick Murphy, of no fixed abodee, sevenpence-ha'penny behind in his rent. Mrs....

Bannister:
[off] Henry, er...

Crun:
[writing stops] What, what, what?

Bannister:
[off] Oh, [mutters, lip smacking]. Henreee!

Crun:
Ah, drat that modern melody-woman.

Bannister:
[off] Yim-bom-biddle... [silly singing, pauses]. Pfwo-o-ow!

Crun:
What do you, what? What is it Min?

Bannister:
[off] That cat wants to go out.

Crun:
What makes you think that, Min?

Bannister:
[off] He's just put his hat and coat on. Ooooh...

Crun:
Dear oh dear. Why do we have to have a loony moggie that insists on wearing a hat and coat? Why can't he be like other cats and just wear a knitted pullover, I tell you? Now, where was I..

Bannister:
[off, interrupts] Because the dog's wearing the pullover, you know that.

Crun:
Oooh...

Bannister:
[off] It's his turn to have the pullover, you know that.

Crun and Bannister:
[muttered exchanges]

The only way to pull off a lockdown afternoon 'quickie' with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Mars Bar and tell him to report on all the street activities.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:

'There's a car being towed from the car park,' he shouted.

'An ambulance just drove by!'

'Looks like the Andersons have company,' he called out.

'Matt's out on his bike and his mum is telling him off'

'Looks as if the Sanders are going into full isolation!'

'Jason has had his skate board taken off him

After a few moments he announced, 'The Coopers are having sex!!'
Startled, his mum and dad shot up in bed!

Dad cautiously called out,
'How do you know they're having sex?'
'Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Mars Bar'.

What one would expect of a well bred pedigree feline!

Eton school has been wrecked. The students were on lockdown too long and rioted. They raided their tuck boxes and splattered the rooms with ice cream, cream, meringue.
The place is a right Eton mess.