Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Monday Smiles

I once took a scruffy stuffed dog to the Antiques Roadshow.

The chap said, "This is very rare, do you know what it would fetch if it was in good condition?"

I replied "Dunno, sticks I suppose?"

A Darwin woman, Beverly Thompson, 38, has stopped a crocodile attack using a small .22 calibre Ruger pistol.
This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.

Here's her story in her own words:

"While walking along the edge of a lake near my house in the Villages Estate near Darwin, discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex-husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 4-metre crocodile which suddenly emerged from the murky water.
"It began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive. "If I had not had my little Ruger 22 calibre pistol with me, I wouldn't be here today!" said Beverly.
"Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took.
“The croc got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace.
“The amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible and his life insurance was also a big bonus!
It really makes a good case for permits to carry licensed firearms in the Territory!”

Got rid of that chap quicker than Djokovic......

OZ should have stopped the England cricket team too. Mind you it seems to have upped morale in the country.

You don't need to wear a mask if camping, or swimming with marine mammals. It's not transmissible, to all in tents and porpoises.

My word she was a genius



for the phone users. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePgGPGYhrmA&list=PLg8bsKJ6dYlZLuI53jXJ79M6iZiunMo7I&index=4

I worked with a real life incarnation of Alice.
Not funny in any way.
No sense of humour, and she would stab one in the back at the slightest chance.
In today's world she would be looking for any and every opportunity to claim she had been offended, degraded or whatever..

Scary Peter with those looks..

Letter in the Daily Telegraph, today:


SIR, - My old Colston Dishwasher is now deemed to be tainted by racism. So I plan to dispose of it in Bristol Harbour and am looking for volunteers to help.
Refreshments will be served.

Peter Cheshire
Limpsfield, Surrey.

Quite, Quite priceless...

The backstory to Colston Dishwashers...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colston-Ariston