Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Monday Smiles

Just confessed to the missus that I’ve always had a bit of a thing for Beyoncé.

“Whatever floats your boat”. She said.

“No” I said, “that’s buoyancy”.

How do you sex ants ? The girl ants sinks but the boy ants float

I had to Google that one. wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Polo_(game)

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple trees.
The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some apples. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim
naked or make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Moral: Old men can still think fast.

Wife - Are you any good at Powerpoint presentations?
Me - I Excel at them
Wife - Is that a Microsoft Office pun?
Me - Word.....