Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Monday Smiles

This is a true story but it made us all laugh so I thought it worth reporting.

Went to a Christening the other day and the young officiating priest (catholic) was a lifelong friend of the father of baby Alice. He gave a brief homily at a certain point in the ceremony. As part of what he said he used a pun which has taken me some thought to get an appropriate translation.

What he said was: "At the seminary we were taught that a homily should be like a miniskirt: short, well fitting, and open to the mystery".

How times have changed from when I was a lad

Yes he missed off the ending, and available to be worn by both (sorry, all) sexes.....

Oh yes... Virgin Atlantic’s crew, pilots and ground staff can now wear whichever of its uniforms they feel most comfortable in, regardless of the original male or female design of its red skirt suit or burgundy trousers.


Full story..

Apparently, "It’s so important that we enable our people to embrace their individuality".
Excellent....see also their silly TV ads (if asked, I would suggest "Hismaphrodite").
Depart/arrive on time, get my bags to the right destination, and I might forgive this tripe.

Yes what a load of nonsense it is, I am just so glad my late Father was spared it all as he would definitely have thought it wasn't worth fighting a war for..

Liz Truss has spoken today to Ukraine's president about the ongoing crisis.

Zelensky promised to provide all the assistance he could.

There were three girls who were getting married and all met at the marriage counselor’s office to discuss the options of having or not having a baby right away. There were two city girls and one farm girl…
The counselor asked them if they planned on having a baby right away or were going to wait awhile. They all agreed that they had discussed this with their potential husbands and all agreed to wait awhile…
Well, the counselor asked the first girl what type of birth control she planned to use. Her answer was, “The rhythm method”…
“That will work,” said the counselor, “if you keep a good record”…
He asked the second girl what system she planned on using. “I plan on using birth control pills,” she said…
Again he said, “Yes that will work as long as you don’t forget to take them.”
He then asked the farm girl what system she was planning on using. Her answer was, “The bucket and saucer method.” After a short delay, he told her that should also work…
He asked them all to come back in one year on a specific date for a follow up on how things were going…
They all met again one year later and the two city girls were pregnant. Only the farm girl was slim and trim yet…
Well, the counselor asked the first girl what method she used and what went wrong. She replied, “I used the rhythm method but somehow got my notes mixed up and, well here I am, going to have a baby”…
He asked the second city girl what method she used and she replied, “The birth control pill. But we were camping one weekend and I didn’t have my pills with me and as you can see, I too am going to have a baby”…
He turns to the farm girl. “I vaguely remember you were going to use the bucket and saucer method. Now I must admit that I don’t have a clue what the bucketl and saucer method is. Will you explain it to me as I see it has worked well for you”…?
She replied, "Well we make love standing up, and since I am quite a bit taller than my husband, he stands on a bucket turned upside down. Now as we are making love, I watch his eyes, and when his eyes get as big as saucers, I kick the bucket out from under him"

^^^^ brilliant