Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Amnesty - Questionable Modifications...

Amnesty from Ridicule

The thread on Aero S1 wipers not cleaning the screen properly has also unearthed some vintage car modification items.

This, in turn, got me thinking about some of the things I did to modify cars in my youth. I've had similar conversations with petrolhead friends offline and it generally is an amusing trip down memory lane.

So, in spite of me proclaiming 'amnesty', here are two of my modifications that now make be smile with nostalgia:

A dash mounted little black plastic box, that had four or five grey buttons across the front, each with a small red light above. Each button also had words printed beneath: rockets, machine guns, flame thrower, etc... And, you guessed it, when you pressed the button, the box emitted the sound of the weapon you were deploying. I blame Knight Rider and Kitt but I take responsibility for having it fitted to my car.

Secondly, a fancy graphic equaliser with a screen above it, that illustrated the sound waves. Talk about distracting and I'm sure a cassette tape based system (I believe I had an Alpine 'shuttle deck' at the same time) didn't benefit from this up-sell at the car audio shop BUT at the time, it felt so 'high-tech' that I was sold as soon as I saw the dancing lights!

So, over to you all... questionable modifications... let's hear them!

This is a newer version, more options but the same idea!



This isn't mine but it was similar:

A tilt and gradient inclinometer. I still have it in a box of bits in the garage somewhere. Never did enough serious off road driving to warrant it anyway
Here is a similar item:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Inclinomet...rsal/dp/B0BG37WLFZ/ref=asc_df_B0BG37WLFZ
Perhaps I'll dig the old one out and fit it to the 90 for a laugh

I lusted for so many Smith's gauges. My first Midget came with a Vacuum gauge fitted and that was so distracting, as the needle danced around the dial. As the 8 track cartridge blasted out Slade through two giant speakers on the rear shelf. Always ended up with ringing ears.

Hammeriting wire wheels was never going to work well.Hammeriting anything rarely works well, unless its inside and never moves.

Driving to the spares shop with cooolant pissing out of the radiator was certain to get attention, and Plastic Padding was a remarkable fix, despite blocking 10% of the vanes.

I could so easily go on at length. Inexperience and limited tools are a recipe for disaster.

I'd forgotten the old vacuum gauge - fitted to my first Land Rover (along with clock and voltmeter), plus additional lamps...

In the first 6 months of my driving journey, all of my "modifications" were as a result of driving into stationary items such as brick walls and trees to the point that after 6 months it was only the boot lid on my MG Midget that remained unscathed.

I would like to think the early experience gained might have helped moderate my enthusiasm in later years.

Whilst a first year student running a highly disreputable Reliant 3/25 van (bright orange, purple flashes & Kermit stickers), I was given a flashing orange beacon - as used by the construction industry and farmers. I installed it by drilling a hole in the roof vent and wired it into the interior light circuit. I was quite pleased with the mod. Until one of Leicestershire's finest pointed out that:
1) There was a height restriction for such lights and my van wasn't tall enough (who knew).
2) The handbrake on the car didn't work. Well I could have told him that - I had disconnected the cable to stop the, badly worn, brake mechanism locking on and binding the rear brakes.

I was let off with a caution. Lessons learnt:
1) Don't draw attention to your car unnecessarily
2) Prioritise proper maintenance over show

A short while later, I visited one of Dad's friends in Walsall who had a body shop. He was busy applying Starsky and Hutch white flashes to a Mk 3 Cortina - for a chap who had just got out of prison. Ho hum.

I recall gauges and lights on my cars and bikes. You could never have enough

Ironically nowadays my relatively inexpensive Royal Enfield bike includes coolant temp, ambient air temp and battery volts for display on TFT screen, but not at the same time which somehow takes the fun out of it.

Excellent!

I admit the graphic equaliser with flashing bars. I suspect it was Alpine.

I had a company car (Renault5 GT Turbo, wonderful tyre muncher) and had to transfer around large bits of computer so did the classic rear parcel shelf mod, slave amp using the existing speaker output and a pair of 6x9s for Max'Bass and a bit of head nodding.....

Slightly different, but as an impecunious student I had the ful gamut of snake-oil potions ... pills for ailing battery, moly additives for axle and gearbox, STP for the engine oil and Radweld for the cooling-system ... all in an effort to convince myself the old banger wasn't totally clapped-out!! 🙂

K

I put a CB radio in my Lotus Elan in the early 80's. Fun for a time, but really out of keeping with the spirit of the car.