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Old Book
by Morganmike - 21/09/26 07:54 PM
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Forums39
Topics49,940
Posts838,603
Members9,638
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Most Online1,063
Jun 14th, 2026
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There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646 |
Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tanks of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.
Giles. Mogless in Paris.
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 4,612 Likes: 15
Part of the Furniture
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Part of the Furniture
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 4,612 Likes: 15 |
+2
Dean what's going on have you joined a Blues Brothers tribute band? Testing my IT skills J, is that better, something different shortley  I'm lost now. 
Steve A11OGE Red 1989 4/4 4 seater
'A Morgan is for life, not just for Sundays'
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 28,918 Likes: 354
Salty Sea Dog Member of the Inner Circle
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Salty Sea Dog Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 28,918 Likes: 354 |
Has to be one of the best lines ever... 
Graham (G4FUJ)
Sold L44FOR 4/4 Giallo Fly
'11 MINI Countryman Cooper D All4
'90 LR 90 SW
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,015 Likes: 1
Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
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Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,015 Likes: 1 |
The missus bought a paperback
down Dymock's Saturday,
I had a look in her bag
Twas "fifty shades of grey. "
Well I just left her to it
At ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared
The sight filled me with dread.
In her left hand she held a rope
and in her right a whip!
She threw them down on the floor
and began to strip.
Well fifty year's or so ago
I might have had a peak
But Doris hasn't weathered well
She's eighty four next week.
Watching Doris bump and grind
could not have been much grimmer.
Things went from bad to worse
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled up upon her feet
A couple minutes later
She put her teeth back in and....
Said....I must dominate her!!
Now if you know our Doris
You'd see just why I spluttered
I,d spent two months in traction
for the last complaint I,d muttered
She stood there nude , naked like
bent forward just a bit
I thought what the hell
Stepped forward
and stood on her left tit !
Doris screamed , her teeth shot out
my God what have I done !?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out
"step on the other one"!!
Well reader's I can't tell no more
About what occurred that day
suffice to say my jet black hair
TURNED " FIFTY SHADE'S OF GREY" .
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 2
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 2 |
Superb - even made  laugh...
Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,015 Likes: 1
Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
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Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,015 Likes: 1 |
A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does , his elbow goes into her breast .
They are both quite startled
The man turns to her and say's , " Ma'am , if your heart is as soft as your breast , I know you'll forgive me .!
She replies , "If your pen*s is as hard as your elbow , I'm in room 221".
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,015 Likes: 1
Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
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Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,015 Likes: 1 |
One night , as a couple lay down for bed , the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.
The wife turns over and says " I'm sorry honey I've got to go to the gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh ".
The husband, rejected, turns over .
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again .
" Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?.
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,015 Likes: 1
Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
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Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,015 Likes: 1 |
A few weeks ago a customer was chatting to me and we spoke of jokes , he returned the next day and told me he enjoyed a joke would I send him some . I explained I am not PC nor are my friends who send them and they are a bit naughty . His reply was nor am I. I will send you some when I return home . That evening I went on the PC and sure enough he had sent some . I was stunned by the contents of some as a good few had a photo for a red blooded male . This gentleman who looks so shy and quiet is 84 and looks after his disabled wife . It kind of blew me away but with a smile . Just shows there is hope for us all in years to come as we move on to the Mog Zimmer frame
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,499 Likes: 996
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,499 Likes: 996 |
This is quite cute saleswise and funny You do not have to understand a word of German to appreciate this guy. The most impressive iPad salesman ever! His intense involvement of the "customer" in his (sleight of hand) movements and German spiel is really clever. Remember, You don't have to understand one word of German to appreciate his skill. http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=32bUIa--6GM&feature=youtu.be
2009 4/4 Sport Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Con Green +8 prev
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 4,612 Likes: 15
Part of the Furniture
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Part of the Furniture
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 4,612 Likes: 15 |
The missus bought a paperback
down Dymock's Saturday,
......................
......................
suffice to say my jet black hair
TURNED " FIFTY SHADE'S OF GREY" .
 
Steve A11OGE Red 1989 4/4 4 seater
'A Morgan is for life, not just for Sundays'
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