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Old Book
by Morganmike - 21/09/26 07:54 PM
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Forums39
Topics49,940
Posts838,603
Members9,638
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Most Online1,063
Jun 14th, 2026
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There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,499 Likes: 996
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,499 Likes: 996 |
Ballerina ?
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a Bar in
Dublin . She raised her right arm, revealing a HUGE, hairy armpit, as
she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, 'What man
among ye hare will buy a lady a drink?'
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. Down at the
end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter
and bellowed ' Give the ballerina a drink!'
Shamus, the bartender, poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned
to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the
same hairy armpit, and asked, 'What man here will buy a lady a drink?'
Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and
said, 'Give the ballerina another drink!'
Shamus approached the drunk and said 'Tell me, Paddy, it's your
business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep
calling her a ballerina?'
Paddy replied, 'Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to
be a ballerina!
2009 4/4 Sport Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Con Green +8 prev
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,337
Has a lot to Say!
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Has a lot to Say!
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,337 |
The little boy at the nude beach.
A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a nudist beach.
As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why.
She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.'
The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger things than his dad does.
She replies, 'The bigger they are, the dumber the man is.'
Again satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to play.
Shortly thereafter, the boy returns and promptly tells his mother,
'Daddy is talking to the silliest lady on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets.'
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 27,864 Likes: 775
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 27,864 Likes: 775 |
JohnV6
2022 CX Plus Four
2025 Renault Scenic Alpine etech "Yvette"
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 209
OXR 5 L - Learner Plates On
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OXR 5 L - Learner Plates On
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 209 |
A guy goes into his local supermarket for a pack of beer, he sees they have a BOGOF on so he purchase two packs. Puts them into his open Morgan and proceeds to drive home, he has to stop at some traffic hold up and a very attractive young lady walking past observes the booze and asks. "would you be interesed in swopping some beer for sex"
"what sort of beer you got" he replies.
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 2
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 2 |
According to recent medical research in to longevity a woman with a few extra pounds will live longer than the man who tells her this.
Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 7,342 Likes: 49
Talk Morgan Guru
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Talk Morgan Guru
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 7,342 Likes: 49 |
Love it...  The little boy at the nude beach.
A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a nudist beach.
As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why.
She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.'
The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger things than his dad does.
She replies, 'The bigger they are, the dumber the man is.'
Again satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to play.
Shortly thereafter, the boy returns and promptly tells his mother,
'Daddy is talking to the silliest lady on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets.'
A Morgan Identified Fastidious Owner...
2011 4/4 Bespoke, 1981 Delorean, Auburn Boat Tail
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,499 Likes: 996
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,499 Likes: 996 |
Love it... The little boy at the nude beach.
A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a nudist beach.
As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why.
She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.'
The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger things than his dad does.
She replies, 'The bigger they are, the dumber the man is.'
Again satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to play.
Shortly thereafter, the boy returns and promptly tells his mother,
'Daddy is talking to the silliest lady on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets.'
+1
2009 4/4 Sport Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Con Green +8 prev
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,499 Likes: 996
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,499 Likes: 996 |
This example shows the importance of accuracy in your tax return.
HMRC (Her Majesty's Revenue & Customs) has returned the Tax Return to a man in STANSTED after he apparently answered one of the questions incorrectly.
In response to the question: "Do you have anyone dependant on you?" he wrote:
"2.1 million illegal immigrants, 1.1 million crackheads, 4.4 million unemployable Jeremy Kyle scroungers, 900,000 criminals in over 85 prisons plus 650 idiots in Parliament and the whole of the European Commission".
The HMRC stated that the response he gave was Unacceptable.
The man's response back to HMRC was: *"Who did I miss out?"*
2009 4/4 Sport Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Con Green +8 prev
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Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 5,661 Likes: 10
Charter Member
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Charter Member
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 5,661 Likes: 10 |
Nice one
Martin (Deano)
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,015 Likes: 1
Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
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Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,015 Likes: 1 |
My old mate has just sent me a poster of Alex Salmond on the side of the Flying Scotsman . The letter F is on the door and its open so you are unable to see it . Remove the F from Flying Scotsman . You could not make it up .
Last edited by Jack The Lad; 28/08/14 11:11 AM.
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