Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Friday humour

They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer belly.

Strewth I think you're doing well there

*BLONDE MORTICIAN*





*A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an
expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like
the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the
black suit he is already wearing.



The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his
best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the
Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs,
but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'



The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds
her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe;
the suit fits him perfectly…



She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied...
You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful.. How much did you spend?'
To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
'There's no charge,' she says.



'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue
suit!' she says.
'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a
deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly
after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I
asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit
instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'





'So I just switched the heads.'

My mum had a go at me today. She said that I just use the house as a hotel.




She's going to regret that.......




.....I'm really going to give her a kicking on trip advisor.

You get the exercise chasing the kangaroo..... Not when you catch it!

+6 !!

Very Zen. Had me laughing