Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Friday humour

Brilliant Dean.
Thanks for posting

+ 1

Must have something to do with her shade of grey

For all the parents that have had a taste of this either in their youth (guilty as charged) or as a Dad or Mum...


Lightens up the forum on one of the more serious weeks here...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uk2a-MJyM1g

Priceless....

Bob this is not a joke so its on the wrong bit but I think Simon can turn a blind eye for once . In 1990 I was going down Mike Duncans to get the mog . Changed trains at Birmingham spotted a car mag with 2 mogs on the front page the one with the Damiler V8 I think it belonged to a Sir Aubery Brocklebank reg XRX 1??? and another may have that mixed up . Picked up the mag and as I stepped on the train a young drunk was on the floor . I sat down opened the mag glanced across and a stunning young blonde in her late 20s had a short skirt on her legs not closed . She had sussies and frenchies on in the most stunning electric blue so I could see it all . For the journey I sat with the mag to the left side of my face my eyes to the right looking as though I was reading . Was I hell , the drunk was on the floor lucky b*gger. She knew what she was doing and moved her legs around but the train journey was to short I needed a lands end and back several times . When it stopped I stepped over the drunk smiled at her and got off the train . Mike Duncan was waiting for me in a mog spotted the car mag and the mogs , " whats that about mogs " "I don't have a clue Mike " and handed him the mag . When in the mog I told him about the train journey and he could not stop laughing . My neck was stiff as hell for ages . I am also in trouble off the noggin last night the blonde Glaswegian girl ( that accent does it for me ) it was supposed to be a sirlion steak they had run out so I got a rump . She took the pee out of me so I taunted her . SWMBO ordered ice cream with chocolate between us and the girl taunted me with it and handed me a tiny spoon I told her I needed the big spoon to match the mouth .

Crikey! I've been away for a few days and missed some crackers

Dean's been busy

Top funnies

For some strange reason this reminds me of NeilM

Those Aussies will stop at nothing to get a special favour from a girl!

[video:youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=EP5rb4vx6QQ[/video]

HELL EXPLAINED

BY A CHEMIST

The following is reported to be an actual question set a UK University Chemistry Paper, together with the answer turned in by a student.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the lecturer shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well: I'm not convinced, but I do like the logic!

Bonus Question:(5 marks)
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that believe in Heaven and Hell that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, the only logical conclusion is that all souls go to Hell as everyone will fail to meet the entry to heaven criteria of one or more beliefs. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase significantly, but not exponentially.

Now, we need to consider the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?
If we accept a statement given to me by Anabella during my first year, in which she said “It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then theory number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Anabella kept shouting 'Oh my God.'