Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Friday humour

Maybe they are "Slip sliding away" Paul Simon .....

Yes and with our money!

Yes the 1960s all boys school the toilet was split in two left and right with one entrance from the school yard . But the builder must have ran out of bricks as the divisional wall that both sides had to pee on was only about 8ft high with a huge gap above . One day the janitor left the power hose against the wall . I turned it on got my own back as the water shot over the top and ran to the exit to soak anyone trying to run off . A lot of very wet lads in front of the head and one dry JTL . He did not get my point about getting my own back I am Jewish so could not reach over the wall .
6 cane's 3 on each hand never done me any harm .


Brilliant - who remembers this from schooldays and how high did you manage... a long time ago now. [/quote]

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Serious revenge there, these little reminders from school heads or teachers that some things are antisocial for the rest of society served us all well. I think this enabled us wilful one's to settle down quicker in the REAL world of the workplace and contribute whatever we can whenever it's possible to others that are less fortunate - your Mam a case in point although I suspect you could be emotionally attached in your own unique way

nothing broken took her to the doctors she has bruised herself in a lot of areas of muscle and bone large lump on her brow told to have a week off . Already she is wishing she was at work as we are under each others feet . I told her to lye in this m/ing . She was going to miss a meeting tonight with two of her friends in a pub . I have told her I will run her to it and pick her up. Then I can have the TV to myself .

Serious revenge there, these little reminders from school heads or teachers that some things are antisocial for the rest of society served us all well. I think this enabled us wilful one's to settle down quicker in the REAL world of the workplace and contribute whatever we can whenever it's possible to others that are less fortunate - your Mam a case in point although I suspect you could be emotionally attached in your own unique way [/quote]

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Glad to hear nothing was broken mind it sounds as if she really had a big tumble - any chance of taking advantage of the hit on the head for a decision on something extra for the mog ?

I can't remember the last time I had the remote but I was born restless and can't sit in front of it for long - now this forum could be different though. I am seriously going to ration myself it's way out of hand now - next week we visit No2 daughter, SIL and grand daughter so everyone will be relieved that my output will be zero on here as I refuse to have anything other than a brick. They always give me the password to their ipads and laptop and I normally check my emails at least twice in the week but I shall attempt a tm free week....

Did she enjoy the pint and catch up with the girls, I hope so they always seem a lot better after a girl chat, well unless one of the others looks absolutely stunning in the new dress and hairstyle and that's not good you'll hear about that for days if not weeks and it will only rest after a shopping trip (we never go together it has never worked well I'm far too impatient and have no interest in clothes for her or me) for a better dress than friends and so it goes on. I never get that question to answer about the size of her rump as she is a 12 at 5'7" it never looks big. It's a good job we love them like fury cos you wouldn't put up with this from a man mate or colleague.

Good luck with the progress.

Richard I help pick her clothes ( if I did not we would still be in the place now ) we went through do I look good in this bit and I would say "yes" followed by " you are only saying that so we can go " "OF COURSE I BLOODY AM " .
Now I wander among the womans clothes bras knickers the lot pick them up do get some odd looks I tell some of the women who look at me oddly they are for me. You should see the looks they give . The truth is I was chatting to a chap from Amsterdam who stank of happy baccy and he told me " you British should loosen up if you want to remove them ( the clothes ) then you should help to pick them ) Good tip.As a shy lad ( YES VERY ) i would go to the town with my best mate he knew me like himself and would head for the womens section pick up some black Frenchies and say something rude I would run off he stood laughing his head off . He is a long way more bent than me . We could not stop laughing all the time . You know your wife and marriage well .
Must go these black silk sussies and knickers I bought the other day at Ann Summers are digging into my arse.

On a more easy note I went to see mam y/day she has her own room which I check every time , put out some chocolates for her and change her water jug etc . I went into her loo for a pee no locks on any door for safety. The outer door opened and i shouted out " in loo" . The Irish woman walked in the room zip up in seconds and that dangerous if you get something caught. I stepped out and she screamed ," dont know what you are screaming at love its me in the loo and I shouted out had I been standing with my gear down then you would have had something to scream about" . She did not know how quick to get out .

John you must be one in a million I don't know anyone else that does that for their lovely - I did work with someone once (in the ministry) that seemed a little too keen on the ladies clothes for my liking it was about 10 years ago and from the exterior he looked and acted very womanly he swung his hips as he walked, odd. Two years after he appeared every day in a dress or skirt and top, tasteful ones it has to be said but when you consider that he was my height 6'(don't ask) and probably in the region of 15 to 16 stone but a real lard arse. The girls at work were about 450 to 200 boys so a land of opportunity for the single ones. They were the ones whose senses seemed to be more upset with this changeover jobby, the lads just shrugged and thought whatever floats your boat and didn't feel threatened in any way as the girls seemed to be. Until one day one of my colleagues a West Ham fan and pretty handy I would say on the terraces were there to be an altercation, walked into the gents and jobby was there at the china doing the business with his frock held up in front of him. Well I believe there was a rapid interchange of profanities and jobby was then designated the ladies room as his relieving station and a sit down was the order of the day for every occasion. This lasted for about an hour during which time young and more mature ladies were heard fleeing the powder room and shouting and doubting his birth right hmmm. The ministry "answer" to the problem was a classic, remember the time frame we are in 10yrs ago and the ministry (government of the day) have to be seen to be doing the right thing by the LGBT community and any minority groups. Well they put him in the disabled asexual toilet, just think about that a minute. To say we were a little surprised at this decision would be the understatement of the century he has traversed from being a man to a lady and now disabled in less time than it takes to shake it dry.
The reason for the indecision was explained to us all without jobby being present that they are concerned about upsetting his sensibilities Hmmm. Purdah was a new word of the day, apparently when you decide to cross the border and bat for the other side in a right and full physical manner you have to spend a year in purdah dressed as whatever your final calling will be. Quite why we were not told this at the outset I shall never know or fathom the reasoning, everyone would have been a little more tolerant I'm sure. I thought the best solution was a bluebox chemical by the approach road on the front lawn, I suggested this in serious delivery mode at one of the monthly progress meetings and I ended up on a LBGT days course in York which was a lovely day out and I recall fondly getting absolutely pissed on the return train journey with guess who...West Ham man who travelled nowhere without a six pack of wife beater.It topped out the Mcewans gnats -iss on the train.
Now where were we, yes how is June getting along is it all getting a little less painful, I hope so.
I sincerely hope that the black bits and pieces have removed themselves from your bits and pieces by now and that you have had a damn good thrashing from your lovely before falling asleep in each others arms.

See you tomorrow you bad boy

John a rest day from me out of respect for Jules RIP.