Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Friday humour

I'm practicing number 2

Richard,

all very sound advice.
The Big Yin is a great man. I have enormous respect for him.

I need to improve my score - I reckon I already follow about half of them.

Peter,

I got 24 but I'm not too sure I shall aspire to many of the others - don't see myself as a "deliverance" figure plucking away on a hillbilly platform. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myhnAZFR1po

He is amazing especially so if you have read his biography, what a dragging up he had and to remain so relevant is a tribute to the big man.

One sector of the book lodged in my mind, after he was married to Pamela Stephenson she made him a Birthday cake and he went ballistic and cried and all the rest of it, upon enquiring why the reply was he had never ever had a Birthday cake before !

If you know anyone feeling sorry for themselves in an indulgent way - buy them a copy and make sure they read it boy what a life he had during his formative years.

He also said "When you get to 50, never waste an erection".

Never do, they come expensive at my age...and if possible share it with a friend in need

With apologies to our Irish members

MICK, FROM DUBLIN, APPEARED ON 'WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE'
And towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 dollars.
"You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's
presenter,"but for a million dollars you've only got one life-line left,
phone a friend.
Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?"
"Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!"
"Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?"
A) Sparrow
b) Thrush,
C) A Magpie
d) Cuckoo
"I haven't got a clue." said Mick, ''So I'll use me last lifeline and
phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin ."
Mick called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and repeated the
question to him.
"Fookin hell, Mick!" cried Paddy. "Dat's simple it's a cuckoo."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm fookin sure."
Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, "I'll go with cuckoo as my answer."
"Is that your final answer?" asked Chris.
"Dat it is."
There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed, "Cuckoo is
the correct answer! Mick, you've won 1 million dollars!"
The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.
"Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven's name did you know it was DA Cuckoo that
doesn't build its own nest?"
"BECAUSE HE LIVES IN A FOOKIN CLOCK!"

Surely Euros!

American joke. They still don't know what a Pound Sterling is let alone a Euro