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Old Book
by Morganmike - 21/09/26 07:54 PM
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Forums39
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Jun 14th, 2026
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646 |
I just stayed in a hotel where there was a note by the phone saying "Dial 9 for turn-down service".
The lady who answered said "I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last guy in the world".
Giles. Mogless in Paris.
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 28,918 Likes: 354
Salty Sea Dog Member of the Inner Circle
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Salty Sea Dog Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 28,918 Likes: 354 |
Graham (G4FUJ)
Sold L44FOR 4/4 Giallo Fly
'11 MINI Countryman Cooper D All4
'90 LR 90 SW
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 14,751 Likes: 158
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 14,751 Likes: 158 |
Sign held up by street musicians in New Orleans: "Give us a dollar or we'll vote for Donald Trump"
Peter ![[Linked Image]](http://bradley.it/public_images/drive.jpg)
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646 |
Sign held up by street musicians in New Orleans: "Give us a dollar or we'll vote for Donald Trump" Isn't that called "Demanding money with menaces"
Giles. Mogless in Paris.
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 2
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 2 |
Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 28,918 Likes: 354
Salty Sea Dog Member of the Inner Circle
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Salty Sea Dog Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 28,918 Likes: 354 |
Love the first one Richard! 
Graham (G4FUJ)
Sold L44FOR 4/4 Giallo Fly
'11 MINI Countryman Cooper D All4
'90 LR 90 SW
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,499 Likes: 996
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,499 Likes: 996 |
Brilliant Richard  . Five go parenting  .
2009 4/4 Sport Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Con Green +8 prev
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 9,563 Likes: 135
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 9,563 Likes: 135 |
This I think is rather good....given most of us are not in the first flush of youth!
Subject: Lovemaking Tips For Seniors
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------
Lovemaking Tips For Seniors
1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
4. Make sure you put 000 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember..
6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
7. Have Oxygen ready in case you actually complete the act..
8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbours are deaf, too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!
10. Don't even think about trying it twice.
.............................. .............................. .............................. .............................. ......
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
'OLD' IS WHEN..
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
'OLD' IS WHEN....
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .
'OLD' IS WHEN..
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.
'OLD' IS WHEN....
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot..
'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.
'OLD' IS WHEN....
You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.
Peter....re number 4 . Presetting speed dial. When I worked in the police ops room we had a call Sounds of raised voices with some anger tones. A loud slap and " take that, you b***h". Lots of similar sounds, comments and loud verbal sounds. A car was sent to the address. Officers entered and went upstairs. An embarrassed couple were in bed.... The equally embarrased officers reported... " all in order. The couple were engaged in energetic sex and the phone was too near, resulting in the 999 call." So...from a potentially serious incident it turned into a "control room lightener".
Plus Four MY23 Furka Rouge
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,499 Likes: 996
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,499 Likes: 996 |
2009 4/4 Sport Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Con Green +8 prev
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 14,751 Likes: 158
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 14,751 Likes: 158 |
Peter
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