Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Friday humour

JtL

They were really good, even 'er indoors laughed and that is really something.

Reg and any other lads if the lady in your life is blonde don't let her read this . Or let me know so I can go into hiding .


A blonde was driving home after an afternoon out and got caught in a very bad hail storm . Her car was covered with dents , so the following day she took it to a repair garage .

The garage owner spotted she was blonde , so he decided to have some fun.

He told her to go home and blow into the exhaust pipe really hard and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her exhaust pipe . Nothing happened .
So she blew a little harder and still nothing happened.

Her blonde best friend saw her and asked, " What are you doing" ?
The first blonde told her how the garage repair man had instructed her to blow into the exhaust pipe in order to get all the dent's to pop out .

The blonde best friend rolled her eyes and said , "Uh, like hellooooo!You need to roll the windows up first".

Don't you just love Blondes .

JTL
Please stop it, no don't they are great. I'm not sure if 'er indoors is a blonde, what day is it?

Reg its Tuesday .

I was down love lane with a blonde getting on fine, so i said do you want to get in the back? no she say's i want to stay here with you.

An American salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo Japan .......
Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises . 'Im' afraid not sir ,' the clerk told him apologetically , 'but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purpose.'

Skeptical but intrigued , the salesman located the machine, inserted his Yen and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl . Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.

Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read. 'Manicures 20.00 Yen'.

'Why not?' thought the salesman. He had paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured .

The next machine had a sign the read. " This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wife's, 1 Yen."

The salesman looked both ways put one Yen in the machine, unzipped his fly and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening .

When the machine started buzzing , the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off.

With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit.... which now had a button sewn on the end...


Kind of makes your eyes water.
ps. You can remove your hand its not yours.

God may have created man
before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before
the masterpiece.

A priest offered a nun a lift ..

She got in and crossed her legs.
forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily
slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said "Father remember
Psalm 129?"

The priest removed his hand .
But changing gears, he let his hand slide
up her leg again .
The nun once again said.
"Father remember Psalm 129"

The priest apologized.
" Sorry sister but the flesh in weak."

Arriving at the convent , the nun sighed heavily
and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church,
the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129 .
It said,
"Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job,
you might miss a great opportunity.

Great stuff John keep them coming - the button one is just excruciating .

Definitely, do give us more JTL. I have only just recovered from the button joke.