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Aug 24th, 2023
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,790 Likes: 471
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,790 Likes: 471 |
 G.
2009 4/4 Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Connaught Green +8 prev
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,705
Talk Morgan Enthusiast
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Talk Morgan Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,705 |
A Winchester woman driving along at speed passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk & asked, 'What's your hurry?'
She replied, 'I'm late for work.'
'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'
'I'm a Rectum Stretcher,' she responded.
The cop stammered, 'A what?............
'A Rectum Stretcher!'
'And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'
'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger in the rectum, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet'
'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot arsehole?' he asked
'You give him a radar gun & park him behind a bridge..
Graeme: 2011 +4
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 26,759 Likes: 424
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 26,759 Likes: 424 |
The old ones are the best
JohnV6
2022 CX Plus Four
2025 MG ZS EV aka Trigger
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646 |
Who says footballers have no brains ?
My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was about 7." - David Beckham
"I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league." - Mark Viduka
"If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day." - Neville Southall
"I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable." - Paul Gascoigne
"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona." - Mark Draper
"I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier.” - Ugo Ehiogu
"Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough." -Jonathan Woodgate
"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel." - Stuart Pearce
"I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right." - Lee Hendrie
"I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country." - Ian Rush
"Germany are a very difficult team to play. They had 11 internationals out there today." - Steve Lomas
"I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock." - Barry Venison
"I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet" - David Beckham
"The Brazilians were South American, and the Ukrainians will be more European" - Phil Neville
"All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed." - Mitchell Thomas
"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." - Alan Shearer
"I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd." - Johnny Giles
"Sometimes in football you have to score goals." - Thierry Henry
Giles. Mogless in Paris.
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