Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Monday humour

Love it

I want to know why Homer Simpson is in it.

I think I know what he said ..

https://www.facebook.com/ferris.tse.3/videos/1630264076992174/

And the bloke that puts the lights out at night is from the Black Watch.

Was he doing the VW emissions test?

Rudolf Pribluda, a keen communist activist is siting in front of a roaring fire in his remote cottage.

As he's warming himself, his wife, Natalia comes in with logs for the fire.

"It's a wicked night Rudolf Pribluda, sleet is falling heavily." she said.

"Nonsense,it's raining," said Rudolf, "I can hear it on the roof."

"No, no," said Natalia, it's sleeting.

No, wife, "it's rain, Rudolf answered sharply.

" But Rudolf, I told you, it's sleet, I've just been out in it," Natalia insisted.

Niet, niet, niet," it is rain! " Rudolph bellowed." "And I" ll tell you this much, Natalia Pribluda... "

" Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear. "

I think he must have been ..

A young man has always dreamed on owning a Harley Davidson. One day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer. After picking out the perfect bike the dealer warns him that if he leaves his Harley in the rain the chrome has a tendency to rust. He tells the young man an old biker's trick is to keep a jar of Vaseline handy and smear it on the chrome if the bike must be left out in the rain.

A few months later the young man meets a woman and falls in love. Eventually she asks him to come and have dinner with her parents. At the appointed time he picks her up on his Harley and they ride to her parents house. Before they go in she tells him that they have a weird family tradition that whoever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes.

After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long fifteen minutes the young man decides to speed things up so he reaches over and kisses his girlfriend.

No one speaks ..! He throws her on the table and makes love to her in front of everyone. And still no one speaks ...!!!

Now he is getting desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws her on the table. They have even wilder sex. But no one says a word...!!!!

He's wondering what to do next when he hears thunder in the distance. His first thought is to protect the chrome on his Harley, so he reaches in his pocket and pulls out the Vaseline.

And the father shouts out ...."Put the Vaseline away - I'll do the f***** dishes."

Very good.