Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Monday humour

"Bigamy is having one wife too many . Monogamy is the same."

Oscar Wilde

The worst thing about bigamy, is it means you have two mothers-in-law.

Still, here’s a wee limerick on the subject....

There once was an old man of Lyme.
Who married three wives at a time:
When asked, "Why a third?"
He replied, "One's absurd!
And bigamy, sir, is a crime."

Thank you guys, very nice ones yesterday and today. All of those you shouldn't forget, but I forget the best at first.

My pet budgie broke its leg so I made a little splint out of matches.
Should have seen his little face light up when he tried to walk.

Newsflash.
There has been a massive explosion at a cheese factory in France.
Reports say debris is everywhere.

I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.

My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, “Well Sarah? Do you think you’ll be next?”

We’ve settled this quickly once I’ve started doing the same to them at funerals.

What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler?
-
Just the Rottweiler.

A box of condoms, please.

That’ll be 3,99. Do you want a bag with it?

Nah I’m OK. She’s actually quite pretty.