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Forums34
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Most Online1,046
Aug 24th, 2023
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,776 Likes: 468
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,776 Likes: 468 |
Reminds me of the cockney woman who thought that Pantene shampoo was the price. 
2009 4/4 Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Connaught Green +8 prev
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Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,062 Likes: 57
Talk Morgan Expert
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Talk Morgan Expert
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,062 Likes: 57 |
A Chelsea based lawyer went duck hunting in Essex. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer in a West Ham shirt, drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing?
The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial QCs in England, and, a Chelsea supporter. If you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take every penny you own so you'll be as skint as a West Ham should be."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we West Ham fans settle disputes in Essex. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the lawyer.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pat.
The Chelsea lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart of a West Ham fan. Now it's my turn."
The farmer smiled and said, "Nah, it's OK man, I give up. You can have the duck."
2005 4/4 1800ccm Duratec and a lot of HONDA CX500.......
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Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 97 Likes: 1
Just Getting Started
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Just Getting Started
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 97 Likes: 1 |
Another Geordie joke.Guy chatting up girls in the water at swimming baths one of the girls says are yer flirting Geordie says nah I've one foot on the floor.
Ha way the lads.Richard
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Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 671
Talk Morgan Regular
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Talk Morgan Regular
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 671 |
If you are planning on splitting up with your partner, try and do it so their bags are packed and they leave at 8pm on a Thursday
They’ll think the rest of the street are pleased to see the back of them
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 28,416 Likes: 178
Salty Sea Dog Member of the Inner Circle
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Salty Sea Dog Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 28,416 Likes: 178 |
Graham (G4FUJ)
Sold L44FOR 4/4 Giallo Fly
'09 Gen2 MINI Cooper ragtop
'90 LR 90 SW
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646 |
Another Geordie joke.Guy chatting up girls in the water at swimming baths one of the girls says are yer flirting Geordie says nah I've one foot on the floor. Nice one A Geordie goes into the opticians. The ophthalmologist points at the eye test chart and asks "Can you see the board" To which the Geordie replies "Bord ? I canna even see the cage man"
Giles. Mogless in Paris.
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 26,748 Likes: 419
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 26,748 Likes: 419 |
I remember a pub in Hull in the 90s which was near the Marina where the strippers were in a cage for their protection.
JohnV6
2022 CX Plus Four
2025 MG ZS EV aka Trigger
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646 |
Giles. Mogless in Paris.
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,776 Likes: 468
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,776 Likes: 468 |
2009 4/4 Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Connaught Green +8 prev
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Joined: Apr 2019
Posts: 174
L - Learner Plates On
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L - Learner Plates On
Joined: Apr 2019
Posts: 174 |
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
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