Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Monday humour

Fantastic! Lol

Think you posted this in the wrong place Richard - Cars and Grills!

I think you're right David

i actually like 2025

That's the new Dentist Spec 5 series..."open wide sir"

The Suffolk Gazette has todays scoop.
COVID 19 catches Donald Trump 74

Just saw a bloke at Aldi with 20 crates of San Miguel and 30 paella ready meals.
Obviously Hispanic buying.

“What do we want ? “
Free hearing aids
“ When do we want it ? “
Free hearing aids

A friend of mine fell into the grinder at the flour mill.
He's fine now

“What does we want ? “
A cure for ADHD
“ When do we want it ? “
... Ooh look , a squirrel !!!!!

I played football yesterday on a surface of rubble and compacted bricks.
We won 3-2 on aggregate.

It seems a bit ridiculous that Uncle Bens is being rebranded as it apparently causes offence.
If you ask me, I find it a bit riceist.

I like that one.

Boris Johnson walks into a bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning Miss, could you please cash this cheque for me?"

Cashier: "It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?"

Johnson: "Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Boris Johnson, the Prime Minister."

Cashier: "Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc I must insist on seeing ID."

Johnson: “Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."

Cashier: "I am sorry, Mr Johnson, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."

Johnson, "Come on please, I am begging you, please cash this cheque."

Cashier: "Look sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque. Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?"

Johnson stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank. There is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I don't have a clue."

Cashier: "Will that be large notes or small notes , Mr Johnson?"