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Old Book
by Morganmike - 21/09/26 07:54 PM
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Forums39
Topics49,940
Posts838,603
Members9,638
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Most Online1,063
Jun 14th, 2026
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There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,333
Gone to Porsche Part of the Furniture
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Gone to Porsche Part of the Furniture
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,333 |
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 9,560 Likes: 135
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 9,560 Likes: 135 |
I was staggering home from the pub the other night, and decided to take a short cut through the park. A woman came up to me in the shadows, and said "Fancy a quickie, luv? Only twenty quid"
Well, I was drunk, I'd never been with a tart before, and it was only twenty quid, so I said yes.We were just getting into our stride when all of a sudden there was a flash of torch light and a cop's voice said "What's going on here, then?"
"I was just making love to my wife, Officer", I replied
"Oh, I'm sorry, sir, I didn't realise" said the cop
"Neither did I until you shone your torch in her face!"
In a similar vein...... A couple of years ago I was following a van..... White...well it could have been under the thick dirt.... Someone had scraped on it.... " I wish my wife was as dirty as this" Underneath was a reposte... " she is with me, mate"
Plus Four MY23 Furka Rouge
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 27,864 Likes: 775
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 27,864 Likes: 775 |
JohnV6
2022 CX Plus Four
2025 Renault Scenic Alpine etech "Yvette"
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,499 Likes: 996
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,499 Likes: 996 |
"If we can manage to convince the Chinese that Jihadists' testicles are aphrodisiacs, within ten years they'll have all disappeared..."
2009 4/4 Sport Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Con Green +8 prev
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 11,616 Likes: 43
Wave & smile... It's a Morgan Member of the Inner Circle
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Wave & smile... It's a Morgan Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 11,616 Likes: 43 |
"If we can manage to convince the Chinese that Jihadists' testicles are aphrodisiacs, within ten years they'll have all disappeared..."  What a great solution to the worlds woes
2008 XXVII Platform, Bugatti Blue Roadster 4 Seater
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 22,386 Likes: 359
Roadster Guru Member of the Inner Circle
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Roadster Guru Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 22,386 Likes: 359 |
Shamelessly pinched from this month's MGOC Magazine...........
I'm not saying we should kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.
I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.
You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably angry.
You know that tingly feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met, or you decide to bid too much money for that special Morgan you just have to have?
That's common sense leaving your body.
I don't like making plans for the day. Because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.
I decided to change calling the bathroom 'the John' and renamed it 'the Jim'. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Dear paranoid people who check behind the shower curtain for a murderer. If you find one, what's your plan?
DaveW
'05 Red Roadster S1
'16 Yellow (Not the only) Narrow AR GDI Plus 4
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 27,864 Likes: 775
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 27,864 Likes: 775 |
JohnV6
2022 CX Plus Four
2025 Renault Scenic Alpine etech "Yvette"
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,242
Has a lot to Say!
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Has a lot to Say!
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,242 |
"If we can manage to convince the Chinese that Jihadists' testicles are aphrodisiacs, within ten years they'll have all disappeared..." Brilliant .... you lead the delegation and I'll organise the tickets to Beijing 
Graham
Waking up is a good start to the day !!
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,242
Has a lot to Say!
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Has a lot to Say!
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,242 |
That reminds me of that simple one liner. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain 
Graham
Waking up is a good start to the day !!
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,017 Likes: 3
Charter Member
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Charter Member
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,017 Likes: 3 |
Could not laugh at all as that is too close to reality 
Hannes
once: Green M3W; 2013
now: Red 4/4 Sport; 2011
and some practical cars for use in real life
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