I used to go to Ballymena, a few miles North of Belfast for work meets. Great times there with so many winding up and jokes played! One lunchtime I was speaking to the boys there from the 2-storey R&D building. You don't have a lift in the building? No one replied, but there are plans for disabled access. I replied... Ok....but.....carefull what signs you use as push/pull on doors is fine but Lift would mean someone trying all day to open the door!
Another true story....... I worked in our police ops room for a while. One of the girls took a call for reporting a lost Tomtom. "Sorry, but we dont take reports for lost cats" was her reply. Her nickname then became "Tom".
Richard was that PE teacher called Hall if so it may have been the sick bastard that hit us also over the head with a shoe out of the gym. Then hurry you into the showers and make you put your clothes on while still wet .
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is Scotsmen who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Irish
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto McTavish, but my friends call me Paddy".
