I don't do FB, but SWMBO was giggling so much...
Exploding Honesty Box Leaves Turnip Thief "Shaking Like a Dog Over a Shaft"
A Camborne farmer has been given a “stern ticking-off” after rigging his exploding bird scarer to his honesty box, in what police described as “a highly dangerous and a bit disturbing approach to retail security”.
Denzil Richards, 64, said he was “sick to the back of his teeth” because people kept stealing the change from his turnip stand.
“I put a few turnips out each day and the money buys me a pasty supper,” he told Cornish News, “then some hootoot comes along and thinks it’s okay to pinch my pasty money! Well, not on my watch!”
After the box was stolen twice in a month along with a turnip - leaving him “no choice but to have jam sandwiches for tea” - Denzil decided enough was enough.
“I wired the bird scarer so if anyone tried making off with the money box, it would go off - BOOM!” he explained. “I had to test it first, and I tell ’e what, my ears are still ringing now, I can't even listen to the Archers on the wireless.”
Within hours of setting the trap, Denzil heard a deafening bang.
“I ran out with my pitchfork,” he said. “And there was old matey, sat on the ground, hair standing on end, holding the box, shaking like a dog arched over a shaft. Silly bugger didn’t even run, just sat there twitching.”
Denzil eventually called an ambulance, and the man was treated for shock before being discharged. Police gave Denzil a warning and advised him to “get some cameras installed”.
The farmer later apologised to the would-be thief, handing over “two gurt turnips and a carrot shaped like a you-know-what” as compensation.
“Looking back, it was a bit daft,” Denzil admitted. “But I bet he won’t do it again.”
