A guy arrived at work one Monday morning, sporting an angry black eye.
"What on earth happened to you," asked a work mate.
"Happened in church"
"What?"
"Yeah. Really hot yesterday. Sermon went on for hours. Everyone was uncomfortable and sweating. When we got up from praying, I noticed the damp dress of a biggish lady in front of me all scrunched up her bum crack - so I did the decent thing (I thought) and leaned forward and plucked it out." Gave me a hell of a punch didn't she."
"Well what a stupid thing to do mate."
During the course of the week the swelling went down and by Friday he could see properly again and there was little evidence of the injury.
On Monday he arrived at work with a repeat of the affliction, only worse.
"That didn't happen in church again did it?"
"Yeah another hot Sunday, long sermon, and everyone overheated."
"You didn't sit behind that same lady did you?"
"Yeah"
"And when you got up, her dress wasn't stuck up her ..."
"Yeah"
You didn't ..."
"No, no ... the guy next to me did. But I knew she didn't like it like that ... so I stuffed it back in."

Brian
1962 Morgan Plus 4
(Prev. TR2, MGB, Sprite, Lotus, plus ‘buy / use / dispose’ sedans)