OK, it is Friday, but these deserve to be shared....

I once dated a gal who broke up with me because I only have 9 toes. Yes, she was lack toes intolerant.
Did you know ants never get sick? It’s because they have anty bodies
You can’t blame anyone else if you fall in your driveway…it’s your own asphalt.
I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.
I’ve started investing in stocks: beef, vegetable, chicken. One day I hope to be a bouillianaire.
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. Now that’s humerus.
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. Now I have Heinzsight.
Scientifically, a raven has 17 primary wing feathers, the big ones at the end of the wing. They are called pinion feathers. A crow has 16. So, the difference between a raven and a crow is only a matter of a pinion.
I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes. I turned to a local tribal leader and said, “That lizard is really funny!” The leader replied, “That’s not a lizard. He’s a stand-up chameleon.
I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I thought I nailed it but nobody saw it.
How much does a chimney cost? Nothing, it’s on the house.
My friend said she wouldn’t eat a cow’s tongue because it came out of a cow’s mouth. I gave her an egg.
Once upon a time, a King was only 12 inches tall. He was a terrible King but he made a great ruler.
Ran out of toilet paper and now using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, and tomorrow romaines to be seen.
My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables. That’s right..Jack and the beans talk.
I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants. You probably have not heard of herbivore.
Six cows were smoking joints and playing poker. That’s right. The steaks were pretty high.
I went to the paint store to get thinner. It didn’t work.

Peter,
66, 2016 Porsche Boxster S
No longer driving Tarka, the 2014 Plus 8...