These were sent to me by Hal Blaine this morning. I am just the messenger!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The wife is back on the warpath again.
She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.
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I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.
My next crap could spell disaster.
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My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them.
It was my own fault - I should have taken them off.

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I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night ...
or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.

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After both suffering from depression for a while, my wife and I were going to commit suicide yesterday.
But strangely enough, once she killed herself - I started to feel a lot better. So I thought - screw it !!!
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I woke up this morning at 8 am, and could smell something was wrong.
I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor - not breathing!
I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonalds serves breakfast until 10:00.

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Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week.
Took her to the fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.
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The other night my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.
I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"
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My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!"
"Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay?!"
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I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom.
It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex!

Paul

1973 4/4 "Henry A"
1953 +4 Flat Rad "Pug"
1984 Citoen 2CV Special "BeBe"
https://morgan34.org/