A man took his 5 year old grandson to the shopping centre.

While his back was turned for a second, the little blighter wandered off and got lost.

The little boy approached a security guard, and said that he'd lost his Grandpa.

"What's he called ?" asked the security guard.

"Grandpa" came the reply.

"Okay then" said security guard "What's he like ?"
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"Morgans, beer, and ladies with big tits".

Giles. Mogless in Paris.