The Wisdom of AGE !

Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that, at my age, I don't really give a rat's ass anymore.

If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat.

A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years and they tell us to exercise? I don't think so.

Now that I'am older, here's what I have discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and still have most of it.

2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.

3. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?.

6. It was a whole lot easier to get older than it was to get wiser.

7. Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant.

8. I wish the buck did really stop here; I sure could use a few of them.

9. Kids in the back seats cause accidents.

10. Accidents in the back seats cause kids.

11. It is hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

12. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the loo.

13. If Mother nature wanted me to touch my toes, she'd have put them on my knees .

14. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.

15. It is not hard to meet expenses... They're everywhere.

16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

17. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.. I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".

18. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

19. It is a lot better to be seen than viewed.

20. Have I sent this message to you before... or did I get it from you?.