Sent by a pal in Canada.... some of the best yet!

Can we uninstall 2020 and reinstall it again? I think it has a virus ...

The days of the week are now being called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday

But until further notice there are only 3 days in a week. Today, yesterday, and tomorrow.

2020 is a unique Leap Year. It has 29 days in February, 300 days in March and 5 years in April.

Just asked a 6 year old if he understands why there is no school. He said yes because they are out of toilet paper.

On the bright side, I am no longer calling this shelter-in-place. I am an artist-in-residence.

After years of wanting to thoroughly clean my house but lacking the time, this week I discovered that wasn’t the reason

If you thought toilet paper was crazy ... just wait until 300 million people all want a haircut appointment

Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not so much to prevent COVID-19 but to stop eating.

I swear my fridge just said: “What the hell do you want now?”

This cleaning with alcohol is total b.s. NOTHING gets done after that first bottle.

If you keep a glass of wine in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face.

I miss the days when we were terrified of Romaine lettuce. Aah, the good times…

Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???

Kinda’ starting to understand why pets try to run out of the house when the door opens.

After 4 weeks at home the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture.”

You think it’s bad now? In 20 years our country will be run by people home schooled by day drinkers…

My Mom always told me I wouldn’t accomplish anything by laying in the bed all day, but look at me now! I’m saving the world.

Whoever owes you money, go to their house now! They should be home.

Homeschooling Day #3: they all graduated. #Done

Peter,
66, 2016 Porsche Boxster S
No longer driving Tarka, the 2014 Plus 8...