It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub.
It's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.

I just phoned the Tinnitus Helpline.
Bloody pointless, no one answered.
It just kept Ringing!

Got some sad news today. After 7 years of medical training, my good friend has been struck off after just one indiscretion. The Board found out he slept with one of his patients and now can no longer work in the job he loves. What a waste of time, training & money. A genuinely nice guy, and a brilliant vet.

Police knocked on my door and said where were you between 4 and 6?
I said infants school.

The man who created hard boiled eggs wrapped in sausage meat has died.
RIP Scott Chegg

My mate's Mrs. left him last Thursday, she said she was going out for a pint of milk and never came back! I asked him how he was coping and he said, "Not bad, I've been using that powdered stuff."

It's my wife's birthday soon and she has been leaving jewelry catalogues all over the house, so I've bought her a magazine rack.

Due to a spelling error on my letter to Santa, I spent an awkward Christmas Day in 1966 with an man from Acton.

Last edited by athelstan; 17/10/20 10:07 AM.
John
2015 Plus 4 (GDI) Sport Green