A few crackers here...

My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness. I said, "No, we all seem to enjoy it."

I thought growing old would take longer.

Camping: where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person.

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: "close enough."

I'm a multitasker. I can listen, ignore and forget all at the same time!

People who wonder if the glass is half empty or half full miss the point. The glass is refillable.

I don't have grey hair. I have wisdom highlights.

Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done.

I don't trip, I do random gravity checks

My wife says I have 2 faults. I don't listen and...something else.

Never laugh at your wife's choices. You are one of them

Some people are like clouds; once they disappear it's a beautiful day.

Common sense is not a gift. It's a punishment because you have to deal with everyone who doesn't have it.

Peter,
66, 2016 Porsche Boxster S
No longer driving Tarka, the 2014 Plus 8...