I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox,
informing me that I can have sex at 73
I'm so happy, because I live at number 89.
So it's not too far to walk home afterwards.
And it's the same side of the street.
I don't even have to cross the road!

~~~~~

Answering machine message,
"I am not available right now,
but thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the beep.
If I do not return your call,
you are one of the changes."

~~~~~

My wife and I had words,
but I didn't get to use mine.

~~~~~

Frustration is trying to find your glasses
without your glasses.

~~~~~

Blessed are those who can give
without remembering
and take without forgetting.

~~~~~

The irony of life is that,
by the time you're old enough
to know your way around,
you're not going anywhere.

~~~~~

God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.

~~~~~

I was always taught to respect my elders,
but it keeps getting harder to find one.

~~~~~

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

~~~~~

Aspire to inspire before you expire.

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