A motorist was stopped by a police car after being clocked doing 80mph in a 60mph limit.

Police Officer - Are you in a hurry, Sir?
Driver - no officer, is something wrong?
Wife (passenger) - yes you were, you were trying to get back to watch the match on TV.
Driver - be quiet and leave this to me!
Officer - are you aware you were in a 60 mph limit , sir?
Driver - of course, and I had the cruise control set to 59mph.
Wife - now dear, you know this car doesn't even have cruise control.
Driver - be quiet, what do you know about cars anyway!
Officer - But sir, you were doing 80mph according to our radar.
Wife - he was doing 90 a few minutes earlier, I told him to slow down!
Officer - I see you aren't wearing your seat belt sir, that's an offence with an instant fine.
Driver - I took it off when you came over, so I could get out if you wanted me to.
Wife - you never wear your seatbelt!
Driver - can't you shut the f*** up!
Officer (to wife) - Madam, does your husband always talk to you like that?
Wife - no, only when he's had too much to drink!