Two old friends just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them.
"Do you mind if I join you?"
My partner did not turn up."

"Sure", they said , "You are welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.
Part way around the course , one of the friends asked the newcomer , "What do you do for a living?".

"I'm a hit man". was the reply .

"You are joking!, was the response.

"No I am not", he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."

"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look?
I think I may be able to see my home from here ."
So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his home .
"Yes I can see my home all right . This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. " " Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom . Ha Ha, I can see she is naked !!
"Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there with her....
He's naked, too!!!

He turned to the hit man , "How much do you charge for a hit ?"

"I'll do a flat rate, for you one thousand pound every time I pull the trigger".

"Can you do two for me now".

"Sure, what do you want."

"First, shoot my wife, she's always mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth."

"Then the neighbour , he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."

The hit man loaded his rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

"Are you going to do it or not? said the friend impatiently,
"just be patient ," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here"......





















Last edited by Jack The Lad; 10/01/17 03:22 PM.