Nicola Sturgeon is touring Perthshire in the First
Minister’s chauffeur driven car.
Suddenly a cow jumps out into the road. They hit it
full on and the car comes to a stop.
Nicola in her usual jaunty manner, says to the
chauffeur : " You get out and check - you were driving."
The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the
animal is dead.
" You were driving, go and tell the farmer," says
Nicola, ”I can’t afford to be blamed for anything.”
The chauffeur walks up the drive to the farmhouse
and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a
big grin on his face.
" My God, what happened to you ?" asks Nicola.
The chauffeur replies : " When I got there, the
farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap - up
meal and the daughter made love to me."
" What on earth did you say?" asks Nicola.
" I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I
said to them, I'm Nicola Sturgeon’s chauffeur and I've just killed the cow."

Tony

Claret Red +4