The thing I love most about hot weather is the short skirts and low cut tops.
Although they do make me look a bit gay.

Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the Kent Show,
a spokesman said "We'll struggle to get another man of the same calibre."

Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in.
Only used it for half an hour as I started to feel sick. It's great though.
It does everything - KitKats, Mars bars, Snickers, the lot.


Bloke comes home to find his son sitting on the couch, grinning from ear to ear.
"What are you so happy about?" he asked.
"I just made love to the girl next door" he says proudly.
"Well done son. I hope you were wearing something." "Yup" he replied. "A balaclava."



Giles. Mogless in Paris.