Originally Posted By athelstan
WINTER FUEL PAYMENT - WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.

Q. What is a 'Winter Fuel’ payment ?

A. It is money that the government will send to taxpayers.



Q. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.



Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.



Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase gas and
electricity...or a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.



Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.



Below is some helpful advice on how best to help the UK Economy by
spending your 'Winter Fuel’ money wisely:


* If you spend the money at Asda or Tesco, the money will go to China,
Taiwan or Sri Lanka


* If you spend it on petrol your money will go to the Arabs


* If you purchase a computer it will go to India, Taiwan or China


* If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and
Guatemala


* If you buy an efficient car it
will go to Germany, Japan or Korea


* If you purchase useless stuff it will go to Taiwan


* If you pay off your credit cards or buy shares, it will go to management
bonuses and they will hide it offshore.



Instead, keep the money in the UK by:


1. Spending it at car boot sales

2. Going to night clubs

3. Spending it on prostitutes

4. Buying beer or whisky

5. Getting yourself a Tattoo

6. Visiting a bookie

7 Purchase a MORGAN grin2




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