Russ and Fred, two friends, met in the park every
day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and
discuss world problems.

One day Russ didn't show up. Fred didn't think
much about it and figured maybe he had a cold
or something..
But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so,
Fred really got worried. However, since the only
time they ever got together was at the park, Fred
didn't know where Russ lived, so he was unable to
find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Fred figured he had seen
the last of Russ, but one day, Fred approached the
park and-- lo and behold!--there sat Russ!
Fred was very excited and happy to see him and
told him so.
Then he said, 'For crying out loud Russ, what in the
world happened to you?'

Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.'

'Jail!' cried Fred. What in the world for?'

'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, that cute little
blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I
sometimes go?'

'Yeah,' said Fred, 'I remember her. What about her?

'Well, the little gold-digging witch figured I was rich
and she filed rape charges against me; and, at
89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into
court, I pleaded 'guilty'.

'The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'

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