Almost if not coming to the end of my pile of jokes , they are the ones my late mate sent me a few years ago . We both had the same dry wit the cut and thrust was magic , had been all the way through school . I even had him laughing as he was in his bed ready to leave this world . Its what he would have wanted and he did it to one of our mates when he had not long to go . He called on Jimmy who was in bed , Jimmy said "Fred I don't have long to go " . Fred replied , " then make sharp the pubs close at 10-30 ". Jimmy could not stop laughing . Thats what mates are for .
Jimmy me Fred and Fred,s step brother few years older, step brother ( ex army ) went out one night to look for a place that sold a certain beer we had heard of. Ended up in Saltburn .
After they had drank the pub dry hunger kicked in , and ended up in Redcar main road and into a place for food . They took the order and just kept us waiting and waiting and waiting . After tripping over our beards Tony said that's it here goes . He threw himself onto the floor in his suit and started to crawl behind the waiter begging for food telling them he was starving . Everyone started to chuckle we could not stop laughing and the waiters had not a clue what to do . Tony got near the kitchen door got up and returned to the table . Said " watch how quick they bring our food now " . Sure enough it was their in a flash and plates full . He said it was an old army trick they used when the staff ignore you works every time. Told you I was the shy one and my mates where jokers never a dull moment when we got together . grin2