Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since leaving school. They rediscover each other via Friends Reunited and arrange to meet up for lunch

Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace dress.
She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

Sue arrives shortly afterwards, wearing a grey Chanel number. After the initial hugs and kisses she joins Jan in a glass of wine.

Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots. She too shares the wine.

Jan explains that after leaving school and attending Oxford University she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of London's leading law firms . They live in a 4000 sq ft apartment on Park Lane and Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Portugal.

Sue relates that she gratuated from Cambridge University, studied to become a doctor and became a surgeon . Her husband, Clive, is a leading financial investment banker in the City. They live in the Surrey stockbroker belt and have a second home in Italy.

Mary explains that after she left school at 17 , she ran off with her boyfriend , Mark . They run a tropical bird park in Essex and grow there own vegetables . Mark can stand five parrots , side by side , on his erect penis.

Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later ,
Jan blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Tesco , they live in a small apartment in Bromley and have a caravan parked on the front drive.

Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friends honesty , explains that she and Clive are both nursing care assistants in an old people's home . They live in Peckham and take camping holidays in Kent.

Mary admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg

Last edited by Jack The Lad; 03/09/13 12:55 PM.